May 25, 2012

And so I have found that I am of nothing. 

Everything I am is creation of what surrounds me. Everything of you is what you’ve made it to be. 

I’m am no longer sure if the sky is really blue. In a book I read that our eyes deceive us. If my own eyes deceive me why wouldn’t you? I’ve realized that I can only trust myself so much. I make promises to clean my house when I get home, and I break them. I make promises to do something in the world and I still have not. I don’t think. I fight myself everyday, yet, I am all that I have. 

You should never give yourself away. People have it hard enough dealing with themselves. You will be broken after it all. All you can do is your best. Love in balanced and honest ways. Do good because it will benefit you. No one else cares. No one cares about you in your career. They care about what they make off of you. No one cares about your stupid pictures of yourself. Of your clothes. Of your size. 

I remember people from the love and honesty they give. To me that is the most important. 

I care about the good from your heart. 

I’ve been lucky enough to find people who do that and to hold onto them. 

Found a heart I can relate with and trust. A heart I can laugh with. To me, That is most important. 

Life is too short to be Angry, Jealous, Unhappy, Mean. I wouldn’t want to look back on my life and regret those awful feelings. I would want to look back and remember laughing, finding, seeing, loving. I would want to remember who loved me. I would want to remember who I loved. I want to remember why. 

“I’ve wandered as far West as I can go. Sitting now on the sand, I watch the sun blur into an aftermath. Reds finally marrying blues. Soon night will enfold us all.”

- Mark Danielewski